


alcohol

by grey_king



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: :(((, Angst, F/F, a tiny piece of chuuves, also slight tw for language, another 12am shit, but she dint rlly want it, jungeun fell out of love, sadt, someone love jinsoul :(
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-25
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-12-07 09:35:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18233099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grey_king/pseuds/grey_king
Summary: perhaps not every time you drink, you'll forget someone you don't want to remember.or jinsoul gets drunk, sooyoung tries to stop her but she still ends up at jungeun's door at 2 am.





	alcohol

**Author's Note:**

> henlo im back with a lipsoul angst this time, hope you enjoy reading and comment down what you think :]]

 

 

 

**-“Hey Jungeun, this is Jinsoul, again. I was just wondering if you were listening to these things I drop off…”-**

**\- “............” -**

**-“Who the fuck am I kidding?”-**

 

_________________________

 

  
“Soul, you ready? Sooyoung and Kaahei will be here in 5 minutes!” Haseul called out from downstairs. It was the gang's usual night out, with everyone clearing off their schedules as always to make time. And for Jinsoul to cheer up. It became a monthly ritual for them and she was really thankful for her friends. She doesn't wouldn't know what to do without them.

 

It’s been months since she and Jungeun had broken up but Jinsoul thinks she took her heart with her when she left. She's empty, only the shell of her old self remained. And though she was thankful for what her friends are doing to help her somehow, almost every part of her being agrees that she needed Jungeun to be with her.

 

Jinsoul wants to try at least, to pick herself up again. No matter how hard it is because every single thing she sees, everything she hears, it somehow remind her of Jungeun and it _hurt_ her heart again and again. She wonders if she's better off dead without her.

 

“Hey Jinsoul, you okay in there?” Snapping out of her reverie at the short series of raps on the door and Haseul's concerned voice, she shakes her head and grabs her jacket. Maybe after a couple of drinks she'll forget her again. She opens the door and grins at her best friend.

 

“Yeah! C'mon if we don't go down Sooyoung's grumpy ass might leave us!” She laughs and sprints toward the door, dragging the shorter girl along.

 

____________________________

 

  
Okay maybe drinking too much was a bad idea. The vodka in her system was doing things only her vulnerable side would do. Only the Jinsoul that was hidden under layers would do something this stupid. And the real Jinsoul who can't move on, the one who still loves Jungeun so damn much.

 

So now here they are, Sooyoung trying to grab the phone out of her hands with an unamused scowl.

 

 

“Jinsoul give me the phone.” She grunts as Jinsoul dodges yet again, dialing Jungeun's number for the hundredth time. “Stop being dumb and _give_ me the fucking phone!” Sooyoung yells again, her veins popping out. Jinsoul just stares at her as the phone rings, still waiting for someone to answer on the other end of the line.

 

“Y'don't understand Soo, maybe if she answered she'd tell me she loves me back…” She slurred out, furrowing her eyebrows at the girl who still tried to snatch her phone. Sooyoung and the rest of the gang has been chasing Jinsoul for hours on end already, trying to stop her from calling.

 

“She _left_ you Jinsoul! What more do you want to hear?”

 

Jinsoul bites her lip and her entire body shakes, the words cutting deep into her heart. She know, she fucking knows but how can she help it? More than anyone, more than anything, she wanted Jungeun to come back. So when someone picks up on the other line, she scrambles out of the bar, with her friends hot on her trails.

 

“Jungie? It's me Jinsoul, I uhh, I miss you a lot and I still love you… So baby please, can't you just take me back?” She slurs out, her voice cracking ever so slightly. “W-we can talk about it. I _swear_ I'll be better this time.”

 

“......”

 

All she can hear was soft breathing before the call was dropped. She didn't say no. She didn't say anything. Jinsoul wiped the tears that escaped her eyes before putting on a determined look and started to walk even if her steps were groggy and uneven.

 

“Jinsoul!” She looks back and sees Sooyoung running towards her. “I won't stop Sooyoung, you know that by now.” She grits her teeth, standing in a defensive stance, ready if ever the taller girl pulls off something. “Unlike you, I _won't_ just let her walk away and I won't simply just give up.” Jinsoul turns her back on her and starts walking off. She stops when she hears heavy footstep and grunts when a strong punch hits her cheek.

 

“Don't you dare bring Jiwoo into this. I didn't give up, I _chose_ to let her go. If she wasn't happy and if she wasn't growing as a person with me anymore, I won't get in the way of her happiness.” Jinsoul bites her lip when she sees the latter shaking, almost to the point of tears, looking at her with broken eyes. It seems she went too low.

 

“Sooyoung I--”

 

“Save it Jinsoul, I didn't follow you to stop you. I simply wanted to say that you should stop being selfish.” Sooyoung drops the glare and wipes the tears that were stinging her eyes before walking away.

 

She wanted to say something but kept her mouth shut. She needs to know what that silence meant. If she really should let Jungeun go. So she looks back for the last time before running off to her ex-girlfriend's apartment.

 

  
_________________________

 

  
Jinsoul wonders how many times she tripped over her own feet as she walks across the town. She didn't know how many times she stumbled into railings and bumped into lamp posts. She didn't even know how the hell was she alive in her drunken state. But it doesn't matter, she was finally here. She was in front of Jungeun's door. She'll finally get her answers. Maybe if Jungeun sees how much she's hurting maybe she'd take her back. Maybe it'll be all okay and she'll wake up in her arms again.

 

She knocks. Once. Twice. A little bit hesitant as dread bubbles up in her stomach.

 

The door opens and it shows Jungeun. She dyed her platinum blonde hair to a light shade of brown, her lips are a little bit chapped and her eyes still made Jinsoul's skip a beat. But god is she beautiful, as beautiful as the day she walked out of Jinsoul’s life. A little bit sleepy and mostly indifferent. As if she never loved Jinsoul before. It made her heart _wrench_ in pain.

 

“Hey…” She looks at Jungeun's eyes hopefully.

 

“Jinsoul you're drunk. You should go home.”

 

“I-I can't just yet. You have to tell me what your silence meant.” How fear felt in that moment was enough to make her knees buckle and she holds on the side of the door trying to steady herself.

 

“.....”

 

“Please. Jungeun _please_ don't just do that. Say something. Just fucking _say_ something! Because I still love you so damn much and I _need_ to know...” She kneels this time, letting her tears fall freely.

 

“Jinsoul stop. I'm really, really sorry but let _me_ go.” The girl in front of her cries, muffling her sobs while covering her face with her hands. “Do you think this was easy for me? Falling out of love was the last thing I wanted for us. I didn't want to fall out of love Jinsoul.”

 

“B-but I still _love_ you Jungeun. I'll do my best to make us work. I'll try my best to make you fall for me again. Just please, you can't leave me like this.” Jinsoul reaches out to grab hold of the latter's hand tightly.

 

“And what? Give you something that's not enough? You _deserve_ better than just half of my heart Soul, you deserve so much more than someone who can't love you whole."

 

_______________________

 

  
Jinsoul wanders around aimlessly, with no destination in mind. Sooyoung was right, she was too fucking _selfish_. She thought she was the only one suffering. She didn't think that the person she loved the most was hurt as well. Love really was intoxicating, something so addictive and dangerous like alcohol. But when everything ends it leaves you with an empty yet bitter feeling. Especially when you realize there's no one waiting.

 

She dials Jungeun's number one last time, hoping the girl won't answer and it'll hit the voicemail.

 

 

**\- “Hey Jungeun? I hope you hear this. I just wanted to say that. I'm sorry and I love you. I don't think I'll ever stop doing so.”-**

**-“If somehow, maybe I'm just hoping for a miracle. You realize that you still love me… I'll leave my door on the latch if you still want to come back.”-**

 

**Author's Note:**

> twt: @brokeSCONE  
> cc: chomp-tops


End file.
